itssexualhour:

so my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying the other day and we did the whole “professor and bad student who needs to pass” thing, only he wanted to be the professor, so I had to be the horny and failing student. I’m the valedictorian of my senior class of 400 and I have a horrible phobia of flunking, so when he whispered “you’re failing my class, you naughty girl” in my ear, I started crying and we had to stop


fartgallery:

kids that look exactly like one of their parents are so weird, it’s like they’re the lowercase and uppercase versions of a person


hufflepuffingtardisfumes:

knight-of-lime:

Drag queen

This is humor right here.

hufflepuffingtardisfumes:

knight-of-lime:

Drag queen

This is humor right here.


ridge:

i hate it when people call me funny because I feel like I have to say something really funny again and I just can’t handle that pressure


clashboarding:

when ur mom gives u money to buy something and forgets to ask for the change

image


relahvant:

literally summer in Australia if you don’t have air conditioning

relahvant:

literally summer in Australia if you don’t have air conditioning


baitnswitchblade:

chainsandshipsexciteme:

sexting-derek-hale:

mynerdinessoverwhelmsme:

sexting-derek-hale:

Wait do American people not call their friends mate?? Is this a thing???

Yup. I’m sure some do but mostly people just say friend. Which is boring but whatever.

Wait so you go up to your friends and be like “Hello friend.”

we use names



elartistaguapisimo:

so 90s it physically hurts

elartistaguapisimo:

so 90s it physically hurts


dont-kill-the-kennedys:

wereyoufullyawareofthisgaming:

me when i miss my flight

How in the heavens is that a failed stunt jump

dont-kill-the-kennedys:

wereyoufullyawareofthisgaming:

me when i miss my flight

How in the heavens is that a failed stunt jump


netlfix:

legend has it theres life outside the internet


thatonepleb:

Me trying to finish something important on time:

image


passion:

how to have a flat stomach

  1. remove all of your organs

msjewbooty:

“i feel u” i say as i begin feeling you. you are soft, like a bunny